Why does feeling OKAY feel so weird?

March 2, 2013

My Running

So my break up with the scale is still a break up. 26 days today and counting.

I feel more healthy than I’ve ever felt before. I was always so afraid that if I gave up the scale I would really get out of control with my eating. But it’s been the opposite. I’m a little more cautious of what I choose to eat. I can see so clearly how the scale owned my ass. I have 4 more days before I can stand on the scale again. My commitment of 30 days scale free is almost up. The biggest thing for me is this:

What if I have gained weight in 30 scale free days? My clothes fit better. I’ve been working out almost daily. At least 5x a week! I’m happier. I have added strength training to my cardio. I have not spinned but I have gotten back to some running. My heel still hurts (plantar fasciitis and bone spur). But not as much. Not as bad. I’m not where I want to be with my running. I’ve gone through my grief…I’ve just about come to terms with the possibility of NEVER being where I want to be with running. I’ve almost accepted the fact that maybe running will not be my thing anymore.

I can’t dwell on that too long…because I will start crying. Running has meant everything to me.

For now…I’m just not back where I was. And I’m not where I want to be. I am where I’m at. Which is a few runs throughout the week, not fast and not long. :-/. For now.

I don’t have anything to blog about when I am not feeling so insane. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. Or a bad thing. Maybe it’s neither?

Hmmm…maybe it’s neither.

Running with my Tuesday run buddy. She was leading the way on this run. I hadn’t run with her in MONTHS. I was so very happy on this day!


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About rsouleret

I am a mother of two beautiful girls. I work full time. And I run. ILML.

View all posts by rsouleret


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