I said to my mind: “IN YO FACE!!”

November 11, 2012

My Running

I saw a Facebook post by a friend “I need to get out and run this weekend or I’m going to put my shoes away so I don’t have to look at them”. So I invited myself. I told her I would want to go run with her…but not “with” her because her ass is fast. I know she trail runs so I wanted to go wherever she was going to go.

Then on my Facebook I posted that I had to do 6 miles the next morning. It was a MUST. She responded we will meet up the next morning. 6 miles on the agenda.

I was so excited!!! I wore my Lululemons because she is the one that first suggested I try them out because I kept complaining about all my other favorite pants slipping down while I was running. When we met up she told me our other friend was coming to join us. The last time I ran with these two together I couldn’t hang. I had turned around way before the end…..and they still caught up to me at the end!!! These two trail runners are BAD ASS. And here I was, in my Lululemon pants that remind me of mariachi pants because of the tiny ruffle down the sides. I know I “looked” like a runner. I wore my Nike Women’s (half) Marathon finisher shirt to remind myself that I have trained more than ever this year. When Donna showed up I smiled. I was so happy!

Little did I know I had a heart attack in my future. (That’s a joke of course. It just felt like I was going to have one. On second thought I take that back. It didn’t feel like I was going to have one. MY MIND TOLD ME I was going to have one. Remember, my mind is the one that is out to get me). Naturally I didn’t have one.

I started out strong, I was trying to get a sub 30 for the first 3.1 miles. Didn’t make it. I hit 3.1 in 31 minutes. I did hit 2 miles in less than 20 minutes. Which is fantastic for me!! But I had to stop at 2 miles for a walk break. Plus we took a picture. I didn’t pause my watch. I only paused my watch when we were at the signal light waiting for the light to change. After the picture at the bridge—we started up again. And that’s when I felt like I couldn’t keep up. I know they slowed their pace big time for me and I have done that for others, but I couldn’t help feeling like I was a “burden”…..and I know today I was not a burden. That’s just what MY MIND told me.

The conversation we had during this run was phenomenal. I never feel more like a woman than when I am running with women runners. I never feel alone in any of my life issues once I connect with other women runners. This is where I get to see I am not alone. That I am a part of. A part of something much much bigger than I. And even though I could only grunt my part of the conversation—I felt so connected. “Connected” doesn’t even come close to describing how I felt. It was like where they ended I began…and where I ended they began.

At one point during the run, after tackling a big hill…I thought “I’ll just tell them my stitches feel like they are coming apart and I have to walk”. One of them said “c’mon–don’t listen to your mind”. And I heard the other say “she’s strong”. And then I told my mind “HA! IN YO FACE!!!!!” And I kept trying. My question is: How did they know to say these things at that particular moment? Again, as I said…I am a part of something much bigger than me.

We ended at 6.75 miles. The end never looked sweeter. And I made it! Not as fast as I used to be, but I am still coming back from having two weeks off because of gallbladder surgery. (When we had hit the two mile mark Kim said “oh! I forgot to have us start out with push ups and mountain climbers!!” Ha-ha….I laughed because I thought she was joking.)

Uh…she wasn’t joking. We did mountain climbers when we reached the end. She said ONLY 30 seconds. Seemed like an eternity, but it didn’t kill me so I’m assuming it made me stronger.

Thank you Kim and Donna. For being bad ass runners and staying at my pace so that I could feel like I was ON TOP OF THE WORLD after my run. Seriously, I walked tall the rest of the day. Thank you.

Someone asked me today why this year running has affected me so differently than in years past… And I came to this conclusion:

I used to run alone. And now I don’t. My mind used to torture me. And it loses its power when I am surrounded with strong runners.

Michelle Buck-Gordon, my Tuesday Running Buddy. Donna. Kim. Daphne. Heather. Julie. Ben. Terry…..you all have helped to shrink the enemy within. Thank you.

I don’t even know where my headphones are. Now THAT is a big change!

Slower than where I was–but on top of the world nevertheless!!!!!

Me between BadAss1 and BadAss2.

I saw this last night and it reminded me of my run. I was uncomfortable and pushing myself. I will never get to where I want to be if I don’t get out of my comfort zone.

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About rsouleret

I am a mother of two beautiful girls. I work full time. And I run. ILML.

View all posts by rsouleret


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2 Comments on “I said to my mind: “IN YO FACE!!””

  1. kcolton77 Says:

    Renee, great post. I am so happy to know you and run with you. When I saw you dressed in your hot mama mariachi pants and neon yellow shirt that could stop traffic I got a jolt of adrenaline because your outfit said “we are definitely running.” Part of me was worried you might back out, but you proved you are stronger–physically and mentally–than a year ago. Running is a mind game and the biggest battle for me has always been getting out the door. So while my speed or endurance may have motivated you to push yourself, you motivated me by responding to my cry for help and agreeing to run. Maybe I am codependent but being accountable to a running buddy has always helped me. Next time, we shave 1 minute off our time. And yes, there will be more mountain climbers!


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