Stop The Insanity!

June 17, 2012

My Running

When I am out running, my mind tries to attack me. You cannot imagine all the things that run through my head.

“You will never get faster”
“you should be running 10 milers easy by now!”
“you will never look like her”
“what if you don’t beat your last time?”
“you’re not going to raise that money”
“are your shins starting to hurt again?”
“this is so far from home!”
“you’re not even halfway yet”

E T C E T E R A

A couple months ago my Facebook status said “2012 is going to be my year”. I also posted another status within a few days “2012 will be year of Change”. And from that I decided to make some life-changing decisions. Decisions that will not matter if I don’t take action. So I joined a boot camp, and committed to three days a week. (which I’ve been doing). I joined Team in Training to force myself to train with a purpose, to go back and kick the ass of the run that kicked mine. Those two decisions have given me power that I cannot explain. When the attacking part of my brain comes out, sometimes as I am out there running I will say out loud “SHUT THE F UP”. And I will keep putting one foot in front of the other. Before I know it, I’m done with what I set out to do and I am high on life.

Sometimes saying “SHUT THE F UP” doesn’t work and I have to use my phone and call someone. Those times are rare, but when I’m doing that, I’m usually at my wits end and probably close to tears. In all the years I’ve been running….that’s probably happened 3…maybe 4 times. The first time was during the very first half marathon I ever attempted, the San Fran Nike. At mile 9. I was done and quitting. My mind could not overcome my mind. I had to reach out. The most recent time was when I set out for an 8 mile run and could only make it to 5. And that was….last week!!

Boot camp and Team and Training paired up….I can feel change happening. It’s not happening as quick as I would like….but it’s happening. I am excited and nervous at the same time for October 14, 2012 to get here. Yesterday morning I went for a training run with TNT and ran side by side with my new running coach. We went 5.7 miles and in the beginning (like during the warmup and stretching!) my mind said to me “psssst….you’re funny. To think you can run an hour”. But before I knew it….we were back at the start and I told my mind “HA! Wrong again!”

I am grateful today. For everything that never worked in my life. And for everything that IS working in my life. I would not be where I am today without my fear. Without my fear I wouldn’t know what I needed to overcome.

Without my fear, I wouldn’t know that I had courage. My next run I set out to do, I think instead of telling my mind to shut up……I’ll say instead “BRING IT”.

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About rsouleret

I am a mother of two beautiful girls. I work full time. And I run. ILML.

View all posts by rsouleret

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One Comment on “Stop The Insanity!”

  1. Gail Manley Says:

    Love It!

    Reply

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